#I am UPSET. how do you be this incompetent

[shiraishi--kanade]

Me: I'm having a terrible weekend but at least nothing bad is happening :]

People who cannot fucking do the bare minimum for their job and therefore fuck up my plans for the entire autumn and get me into financial trouble: *grabs a steel chair*

[thelastspeecher]

apparently one of my cousins was just accepted into a master's writing program at an Ivy League school

and that's why I almost never go on Facebook 🙃

[ohemaa-warrior]

.

[estbghost]

starscream transformers needs to get scruffed like a kitten and jostled around a little i think

[cimeriansparrow]

I cannot wait to not live in this house

[coralinnii]

❋If you are a villain, then let me be your accomplice❋ ↳ reincarnated into a new world as the bad guy aka villain/ess au part 2 feat: Jade genre: drama, partners in crimes-to-partners in love?, slow burn romance note: sequel to "being reincarnated into a new world as the bad guy" Jade ver., no pronouns used for reader, some actions are ethically questionable (Jade and reader are just up to no good),

part one series masterlist

You cursed the lovey-dovey fools who drone on about the bliss of married life, fondly speaking of the joy and romance that leads to the big day and beyond. With the right person, life as someone engaged to be married would be a dream come true. 

With the right person, that is 

Unfortunately, you didn’t have that pleasure when you’re faced with the man you happened to be engaged to; the mysterious Jade Leech. 

“You seemed to be very occupied with something.” With a quizzical look, you asked the teal-haired heir as he sat at his study desk. While you exaggerated, there was a sizable amount of papers atop the merman’s desk, with names and locations you recognised as you managed to glimpse upon the reports. “Am I allowed to inquire about the mountain of reports on your desk?” 

Unperturbed, Jade gave you his well-practiced smile. “Of course, I would never hide anything from my wonderful betrothed” 

This brazen liar 

Having chosen to willingly participate in the Leech family’s goals, you were aware of their plans to monopolize the marine-related business and operations, including taking over the coastal territories from other nobles. 

Which was exactly what Jade was currently trying to do apparently, as he had his family’s men research a baron whose territory included a lively strait between this kingdom and a flourishing island nation nearby. But the baron was an incompetent leader with an unfavorable reputation amongst the merfolk and islanders due to his actions as a businessman.

“Baron Byrne seems to be causing quite an issue in his strait as the large amount of cargo ships constantly coming through the strait is disrupting the islanders’ livelihood as well as the merfolk that made the nearby reefs their home…” 

“But since he seems to have a good relationship with the prince’s new lover, his behavior is not reprimanded by the royal family,” you continued his thoughts and let out a frustrated sigh. “He’s a greedy, impatient bastard but no one can stop him” 

Jade kept his courteous smile but you couldn’t imagine he was thrilled about any of this. Despite the human-merfolk peace treaty being established, the merfolk were used as the antagonists in this world so the story ignored their issues or crimes against them. 

“This was a romance webtoon, I supposed. No attention was given to the repercussions of the lives outside of the main leads” 

You looked through the reports on the baron’s family and you noticed a more detailed section on a certain person; the baron’s wife to be precise. You recognised the young woman as an admirer of Jade, recalling how envious she seems every time she looks your way. From what you knew, she married the baron for his new status as a noble but fell for Jade when she first saw him at a gathering.

“So you’re planning to go through the wife for information” you let out a noise of intrigued as you looked through the papers “you even found out where the salons and stores she frequents. That’s impressive but tell me, how do you plan to approach her?” 

“Oh my, does the notion of me meeting her upset you?” Jade reached for your hand to hold as he looked up to you from his seat, peering at you with convincing concern and acting like a worried fiancé, “I would never intend to hurt you in any way or give doubt to my devotion to you” 

“Firstly, don’t mock me by lying so blatantly” you sneered as you pulled your hand from his grasp. “Secondly, I agree that meeting the baron’s wife is the best way to find out about his weakness”

Jade raised his brow inquisitively before changing back into a look of worry, “Then what is it that causes such concern on your face, my dear?” 

Again, that fake term of endearment sends a shiver down your spine. 

“I’m only asking so I can act accordingly” you looked at the tall merman with mocking sweetness in your eyes. “Should I be the naive partner who knows nothing, or perhaps I’m grieving over the audacity of my dear fiancé meeting with someone other than me?” 

For a moment, you thought you saw a glint in Jade’s dual-coloured eyes before a look of amusement took over his face. He chuckled behind his gloved hand before smiling at you, his sharp teeth peeking behind his lips. “I will leave that decision to you, my dear. I’m excited to see what you’ll show me”

Weeks passed since your conversation with Jade as he quickly put his plan into motion, finding chances to meet the baroness by “coincidence” and gaining her trust immediately. You weren’t surprised how quickly Jade managed to befriend the smitten woman. If you were none the wiser, you didn’t have the confidence to say that you could withstand Jade’s good looks and charming persona either (it would be paradise in the underworld before you would ever let Jade know that, however).

Of course, meetings like these tend not to stay secret for long, especially amongst the high social circle. Many of the gossiping noblewomen whispered around about the possible tryst between the lovestruck baroness and the attractive Leech family heir. However, most of the attention fell to you as the supposed tragic lover of this “affair.” 

Being part of a well-respected family, you were ultimately the envy of certain nobles who would love nothing more than to pull you off your high horse, in sadistic glee in watching a family like yours be sullied. One of these nobles included the woman involved in the rumour herself, Baroness Byrne. 

“Please don’t misunderstand,” the baroness spoke with such fake sincerity, you almost laughed at the poor acting. “Sir Leech and I just get along so well that these rumours seemed to misconstrue our closeness” 

It’s almost insulting to think that this woman assumes that you can’t figure out that she was most likely the one to start these rumours in the first place since you knew Jade would try not to catch too much attention if the situation does not call for it. Despite being a married woman, you wondered if she’s hoping to break your engagement and take him for herself. 

“If it were that easy, I wouldn’t be in this nonsense” you scoffed internally but hid your thoughts with a maintained smile (Jade has given you some bad habits). “If she wants to play mind games, then let’s play~” 

“It’s quite alright, really. I’m not worried at all” you put on your best smile, a look of understanding displayed in your eyes. “In fact, I’m happy that my fiancé has made a friend like you, Baroness Byrne” 

“R-really?” The baroness stuttered which secretly delighted you. You hid your glee with a sickly sweet smile, however. 

“Of course, Jade and I tend to be quite busy since we often have to work tirelessly in maintaining our lands, assets, and the responsibilities we will inherit” you sighed as though life bears heavy on your shoulders “We spent so much time together since Jade likes to inspect every valuable item in my possession, taking in all its beauty and worth. He has quite an eye for such things, you see.”

You looked to the baroness, your gaze demanding her eyes to meet yours. Once she did, you curled your lips slightly to display just a hint of taunting smugness. “With the baroness, Jade can enjoy a simple and humble company without much to entice his personal interest.” 

One could almost see the steam escaping from the baroness’ face as she turned red with humiliated rage. With that, you decided to swiftly take your leave lest you wanted to get your eyes ripped out by a madwoman. 

After some time, you decided to make your way towards the carriage area to go home, you were shocked to see Jade standing outside alone. Once your eyes locked, he immediately made his way to you with an ever-present smile. Was he…waiting for you? 

No, that couldn’t be. 

“Jade, I assumed that you were still at the ballroom” Last you saw Jade, he was mingling with his brother Floyd and Count Azul. 

“Hmm, I was. But then, I heard some commotion amongst the ladies and decided that it’d be best to call it a night.” 

You made the right choice to leave when you did, then. You wanted to smile at the little chaos you caused but decided to stamp down that hidden glee. 

“Fair enough. That reminds me, you may be receiving an invitation from Baroness Byrne very soon, and it is in your best interest to accept it.” 

You seemed to pique Jade’s curiosity, though it seems that you always do. “Oh, and could you share the reason as to why?” 

“Because if she fell for my taunt, I would bet that she will try her best to entice you with whatever treasure or asset she can access.” You smirked, a sly glint in your eyes. “And hopefully you can convince her to show her husband’s warehouses where he stores the items the baron imports in, perhaps some hard-to-procure rarities” 

From what you see from Jade’s reports on the baron’s history, you’re betting that the greedy noble would be the type to obtain and sell anything that would bring him a fortune. With his focus on sea-related products, he might be acquiring and selling items from the merfolk community without their approval which is currently illegal with the peace treaty. Merfolk-specific products were now harder to obtain through human merchants which increased their value even more. 

“Pearls, mermaid scales, valuable minerals from the seabed…anything in the possession of a human who intends to sell them is grounds for punishment for treaty violation”

As if your minds were one, Jade was quick to realize your plans to trap the baron family. It was sneaky, dangerous, and if it works it would be ruining two people with no hope of salvaging their reputation. The baron would be stripped of his title and his merchant career while the baroness would be shamed for inviting an engaged man in an attempt to seduce him. Jade knew that you were intriguing, willing to act however necessary to protect yourself but to instigate the downfall of others, even if they were guilty of their crimes…

Jade can’t ever take his eyes off you. 

Still, he had to ask you something, “You seem to have quite the confidence in me. Do you not worry I will not live up to your expectations?” 

The teal-haired man expected a snarky quip from you or perhaps question him back over his competence. But instead, you furrowed your brows and looked at him adorably (in his perspective) with confusion. 

There was one thing you were sure of; Jade Leech would never get caught. No matter the situation, no matter the evidence, Jade will always find a way to slither his way out of trouble when he wants to. You were better off worrying about your own safety than his. 

“Why would I worry? You’ll never fail.” 

Your voice was so full of conviction, without a hint of doubt or hesitation. Jade felt a strange surge of glee upon hearing your answer. He found a compatible partner that never fails to amuse him. You brought new entertainment to his personal life. 

Jade let out a chuckle, a smile that almost seems genuine to you. The tall man looked to you, his mix-matched eyes staring with such unusual softness. Gently, he took your hand in his own so he could raise it to his lips where he then pressed a soft kiss upon your skin. In surprise, you locked gaze with Jade’s eyes as you felt warmth coursing through you though you played it off as uneasiness towards Jade’s strange actions. You continued to watch Jade as he kept his mouth barely touching your hand, but you could feel every brush of his lips as he spoke close to your fingers. “I will not disappoint you so keep your eyes on me, my dear.”

[tac-the-unseen]

JUST READ THE COD GANG REACTING TO READER FALING AN ORGASM SO WHAT IF READER ADMITS THEY NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE?????? LIKE- NEW RELATIONSHIP??????? SORRY FOR CAPS IM ECSTATIC RN BC UR WORK IS SO GOOD🫶🫶🫶🫶🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

COD characters finding out that Reader's past lover(s) have never given them an Orgasm.

Am I exactly sure what Anon is asking? No, But I will persist.

I'm choosing to write this with the interpretation of Reader never having an orgasm even though they've had sex with others. (The other way I read it was that Reader just flat out never had an orgasm before, and I think that's extremely unrealistic. So we're going with that one) ALSO because of the prompt You and the guys have yet to bump uglies!

Ghost:

•Simon is a little confused "Like...None of them?"

•He takes it very seriously

•He asks you to elaborate a little more. He just wants to know if the other guys sucked (or just didn't in this case) or if you two needed to do something specific in order to please you.

•He understands if you need some kind of accommodations and will ask you what he needs to do

•You and Simon have a long discussion over what you want your first time with him to be like. He makes sure you both have a clear understanding of what's to come (ha).

Soap:

•First thing he says is “Would you like to?”

•He thinks it's a little funny but really sad too

•”Darling, you're too pretty to let subpar men just use you.”

•He immediately wants to show you how it's done and what you've been robbed off

•He asks if he can take you for a “good ol' mustache ride”

Price:

•”Young men are dumb.” He says and takes a drag from his cigar

•”But I guess it's nice to know I have no competition.” He smiles

•He does talk to you about your needs and what he needs to do to meet them properly

•He takes you out on a nice dinner date, goes on a nice walk with you, and end up with his hands wrapped around your waist taking you home

Alejandro:

•Can not stop laughing

•As soon as you tell him he erupts into a fit of giggles. He takes him a full 3 minutes before he calms down enough to hug you and pat you back.

•”You poor thing.” he chuckles and kisses your cheek. “I'll make sure to make up for all their failures, Mi querida.”

•He’ll ask you what they were doing down there the whole time. Which leads to even more laughter when you tell him.

•”But I think I should buy you a nice dinner first.” he winks

Roach:

•Stunned

•Absolutely floored

•”Like never?” He signs. You can see the horror in his eyes

•He’s got his head in hands, contemplating life. He's so concerned for you. He has to take a moment of silence to comprehend the level of incompetence the men in your life must have had.

•When he finally sits up he looks you directly in the eyes and signs “Thank God I'm good with my hands.”

Gaz:

•Slowly turns his head to look at you with his brows furrowed and confusion

•Is too shock to speak

•He gets up to pour himself some Scotch

•”How many times have you had to fake an orgasm?” “8” he proceeds to down the entire drink and pour himself another

•This time he hands it to you “You need this more than me.”

Rudy:

•He gets up and takes a lap around the house

•When he gets back he pulls you into a hug

•”You deserve so much better, Mi Tesoro.”

•Kisses your jaw and runs his hands down your back. “I can give you so much better.” He tells you in-between kisses

•He offers you himself until your properly satisfied, for however long that takes

König:

•”Why do you like incompetent men?”

•He means it in a genuine way, But he accidentally reads you to filth.

•”Why spend your time and affection on someone who cannot please you?” he asks. “I didn't want to seem shallow.” You replied. “Shallow? Liebste, No.”

•He practically scolds you for allowing such men into your life. It's actually the most you've ever heard him speak. Which really tells you how upset he is.

•”You're Lucky I'm here. I will not let such things happen ever again.”

•And fuuuck, he means it

Mace:

•”Other men are filthy animals.” he tells you like it was a normal thing to say

•He gets in close to you and rests his arms on your hips. “Don’t get me wrong, I'm a man whore.” He laughs lightly and kisses you “But you knew that.”

•He asks you for all the funny details and thinks it would make a decent bonding experience.

•He tells you about his less than great sex stories and failures

•”Rest assured sweetheart, I'm a pro at making people scream.”

Thanks for reading <3

(I realize now that I wrote them all in different mindsets of this prompt... Good luck with that, I guess)

[elliespeach]

play nice | ellie williams

˗ˏˋ"i'm not incompetent, despite what you may think." ´ˎ˗

pairing: ellie x afab reader synopsis: ellie and you hated one another more than anything and you had successfully avoided each other for nearly two years before being forced to patrol together. the day you two endured happened to be a lot more than just patrol and despite hating your guts, ellie is determined to keep you safe. warnings: lowkey mean!ellie, scary men, ellie n reader defend themselves w guns (animal death), lots of swearing, being chased, being stranded in remote location wordcount: 6k+ author note: guysssss i love the fuck out of this trope i hope i did it justice, got a bit carried away w the wordcount but i like it that way cus i dont think this will be a series!

the early morning of the jackson crowd woke you yet again, groggy and hungover you squirmed out of bed. you were supposed to be off today, taking the day to rest and recover from last night but maria had other plans for you. she had asked if you could pick up a patrol shift, a route no one likes taking, for a guy no one really likes anyway. you said yeah because you owe maria a favor, hating yourself for allowing your one day off to be tarnished. 

grumpy, you threw on your usual patrol outfit. a heavy jacket, a sweater underneath, jeans and a trusty pair of boots. the clock read only thirty minutes before you were to be posted and figured you would stop on the way to grab breakfast. 

you gave sleepy hellos to your neighbors as you passed. a lot of them shoveling their sidewalks from the snow that blanketed the earth the night before, they would be doing it all day and suddenly you were that upset about patrol duty. it beats shoveling snow. 

entering the restaurant the smell of bacon and eggs filled your nose, making your stomach lurch in your body. the hangover really settling in, you almost opted to not get food. but you saw maria at the end of the counter, leaning over and chatting with the line cook. 

“mornin’ maria,” you plastered on the best smile you could muster at the moment. “who am i with today? i didn’t check the schedule.” 

maria’s face faltered, “so that’s why you said yes,” you looked at her confused. “you can’t back out on me now.” 

“maria, what’re you talking about?” you questioned, but with the expression on her face, you came to a realization that your day was about to get a whole lot worse. “i’m not going if she is.” 

she sighed your name, “you girls were friendly once, you can’t play nice for one day?” 

“ellie can’t play nice.” you stated as a fact. and it was. 

ellie and you had a complicated history, arriving in jackson only a few days after she did, you two had become an inseparable pair. what wasn’t obvious to everyone else at the time was that you both had feelings for one another despite being young teenagers. 

one day, in her garage, ellie and you had been listening to music together while she drew in her sketchbook. you had been watching her the whole time, admiring how talented she was. at this point in time, you knew she liked you as much as you did her–or at least you thought you did. when you tried to kiss her that day, she freaked out on you and pushed you off her bed in a hurry. 

you had felt betrayed by the only person in jackson you truly trusted with anything. you never spoke of it again, in fact you never really spoke to her again about anything. you two became distant, avoiding each other at all costs because when you were in close proximity you’d fight like cats and dogs. you couldn’t hold in your snide remarks and neither could she, but when she spoke her mind it was always more cruel than you could ever imagine. 

you hated ellie williams and now you are expected to be on a full-day patrol with her. you couldn’t even begin to imagine the kind of day you were about to have, regretting any and all decisions that led to this moment. 

“so you play nice. i won’t ask you to work with her again after today, promise.” maria begged and you rolled your eyes accepting her offer. 

you said your goodbyes and maria handed you two sandwiches to go, hoping that a sandwich will fix the multiple years of hatred burning inside of ellie for you. knowing it wouldn’t work but not wanting to waste food, you obliged by taking the food and going on your way. 

your walk was slow to the stables, wanting to prolong the long day ahead of you. when you reached your destination you saw ellie at the end of the barn. she was patting her horse, shimmer, and readying her for the trip. “fuck,” you whispered to yourself before making your way over. 

as you approached her, ellie went stiff and turned her back. not you.

“maria got us these sandwiches,” you said plainly, holding out one of them to her. her eyes were dull, along with her expression and it made your blood boil. “well?” you asked, already impatient with her. 

“ate already.” ellie responded quickly before grabbing the reins on shimmer and leading her out of the barn.

you silently mouthed, “wow.” to yourself before packing the food in your backpack for later. taking your horse from his pen, you lead him in the same direction as ellie. you came upon the gate and mounted your horse before pulling beside ellie, stealing a quick look at her. 

ellie darted her eyes away from you quickly as she saw your head turn towards her, feeling a hatred burning in her chest and she thought she saw you roll your eyes in her peripheral vision. you’d never admit this, barely admitting it to yourself, but despite all the loathing you felt for her you still found yourself attracted to her all these years later. it sucks that she is a bitch, otherwise maybe you two would have been something. 

the usual spiel of being safe, record keeping and more was being announced but ellie’s voice carried its way over to you. “do you even know where we’re going?” 

you scoffed, “i’m not incompetent, despite what you may think.” 

she turned her head towards you, a fake smile splayed across her face. “i don’t think, i know.” 

“oh, fuck you, williams.” you spat at her, looking back towards the gate, not wanting to remember she’s right next to you. 

but she was, in all her rudeness. “don’t you wish,” she said casually in a mocking tone. you had to stop your mouth from dropping open at her comment. she knew exactly what she was saying to you, and it just confirmed that there is no fixing this relationship if she could make a comment that low. 

the alarms went off and the horses started to ride out of jackson. you followed suit, leading your horse out of the gate and turning right down the snow covered path. ellie followed behind you at a distance and you liked it that way. 

ellie was watching you from behind, steering your horse through the pathway. for some reason, she couldn’t pull her eyes off of you the entire trip to the first look-out. her mind plagued her with thoughts of you and she dared not to trespass into that territory again. coming up on the familiar look-out, she pushed the thoughts away and replaced them with the hurtful things you’ve said to her over the years which did little to comfort her either. 

“just wait, i’ll mark the book.” you said, dismounting your horse and heading into the small building. you had always figured it was a radio tower as a giant broken satellite was perched on the roof, slamming open the garage door you made your way inside. 

“i’ll come with, don’t need you fuckin’ up the book.” ellie remarked behind you and you rolled your eyes as she passed you, just having to be the first one to the log book and she was. she beat you to the pen and began writing that there was no infected in the area. 

as ellie finished writing, she searched around the room for you. you were standing by the window, eyes peeking into the binoculars overlooking the route you two were going to be taking. 

“lemme look,” she insisted, reaching up to snatch them from your hand. you pulled it away quickly, swatting her hand. 

“i’m fucking capable of looking through these things.” you nearly yelled. 

“you’re not even wearing your glasses, give it to me.” she growled beside you, again reaching for the binoculars as you held them away from her. 

“how kind of you to notice,” you said sarcastically, gently pushing her away from you. 

“you look better with them on, princess.” she hissed using the nickname she had given you years ago. it felt strange to hear it again, especially in such a negative way. ellie eventually gives up on taking the binoculars from you. you started to peer through them again, making out your path as she huffed beside you. she was acting bored, fake kicking the debris that littered the floor, leaning her back against the window staring into the room behind you. 

looking away from the view for a split second, catching her eyes you retorted, “you look better without them on, figured i’d at least try and have a good day.” a devilish smile washed over your face and ellie didn’t respond. you brought the binoculars back up to your eyes and they widened with fright. 

from your viewpoint you were able to see multiple men all on horseback and guns at their side, they weren’t jackson men as you would have recognized them immediately. they had blood stained clothes and looked like they haven’t showered in weeks. but the most disturbing thing you saw was a person, naked and shaking in the cold tied by their neck to one of the horses, being pulled along. this wasn’t a group to be stumbled upon by and they were right smack in the middle of your route about two miles from you both, getting closer to jackson with every step. “oh, fuck me..” you trailed off and ellie chuckled beside you. 

“like i said, you wis–” 

“ellie, look!” you hissed, shoving the binoculars in her hand but she wouldn’t take them. 

“no, apparently i can’t handle it or something!” she shoved them back in your hands. 

“ellie, would you just look while i radio the other patrols?” you basically begged and ellie heard the fear in your voice. knowing you would never let her see you this way, she sat up straight taking the binoculars from you. she watched as you ran to the table with the log book, getting your radio ready. 

she peered through them and saw what you did and ellie’s demeanor changed swiftly. she turned back to look at you, panicking because the radio wasn’t transmitting. “fuck, this stupid thing!” you yelled, banging it against your hands so hard you thought you might leave a bruise. 

ellie acted fast, throwing the log book into a damaged closet to leave no trace and picking up her backpack. “if we can’t get a signal here, we gotta move to where we can get one. the closest patrol is ten miles in the other direction, we can beat them there, they aren’t going fast.” 

she glanced at you, ready to move and you were frozen still trying to get the radio to work. she rounded on you and stopped yourself from breaking your own hand with the radio. “we have to move, okay? they won’t touch you, i promise.” 

her promise seemed sincere and in the moment you didn’t question it. you nodded your head and took a deep breath before she handed you her bag. you both sprinted to your horses, but not before ellie closed the garage with a loud thud. getting on horseback, ellie led the way, weaving in and out of trees staying off the path so as to not cause suspicion with the tracks in the snow. 

you followed suit, not letting her gain more than a few yards on you at a time. after about ten minutes of what seemed like endless trees you came upon an opening to a road. you didn’t recognize it, and as you came up beside ellie it looked like she didn’t either. you looked around desperately, fearing the men you had seen and what would happen to you both if they found you. 

“nothing on the radio?” she asked you, pulling her horse near you. 

“no, nothing.” you stated shakily, fiddling with the small radio. 

“shit,” she cursed aloud, but not loud enough for anyone else but you to hear. “c’mon, this way.” she led you down the road and as you came over a small hill a building came into the picture, a large building that looked like an old grocery store. 

as you were about to pull the radio from your back pocket, ellie and you both snapped your necks in the direction you had just come from. there was the distant sound of hooves, even in the snow and laughing that wasn’t the good kind. “they found our trail, in the building, now!” she snapped at you quietly and not seeing any other idea, you followed her. leading your horses into an empty window in the building and securing them in a locked office. 

the building was ransacked, absolutely nothing in sight but garbage and dead infected bodies. “if there is dead infected, this area must get patrolled,” ellie thought out loud, looking at the mangled bodies. 

“or they found it before we did,” you did the same, stepping over a dead infected woman. horses neighing outside brought you to a halt and ellie didn’t think twice about grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of view. shuffling past large empty boxes and even more dead infected there was a door labeled exit and ellie busted it open, shoving you inside before her. as she closed the door behind her, she heard glass breaking and men’s voices. 

you looked around in the small hallway, it was dark but you were able to see a small dim light peeking through a knocked over bookcase at the end. “ellie,” you whispered, pointing to the bookcase. quietly moving towards it, you started to lift up the bookcase revealing a large storage room with loading docks. placing the bookcase back down to block the entrance as quiet as you could. 

she nodded her head towards the loading doors, they were closed but not locked. you were about to lift them up for an escape when the exit door burst open and all that stood in between them and you two was the bookcase. you snapped your head in that direction and ellie grasped your arm, pulling you behind a large shipping crate. 

in good timing because as soon as you were secure the bookcase fell over with a loud bang that made you jump. you looked to ellie, who was trying to peek around the crate to catch a look. ellie saw three men stumble into the large room, guns and various other weapons on their belts. “come on out now!” one bellowed, causing you to grab ellie’s arm instinctively and she let you, not pulling it away in the slightest. 

ellie saw them looking around corners when one approached the loading doors, seeing it unlocked. “must’ve slipped out,” the brute snarled, fiddling with the door handle.”grab their horses, let’s go get their trail!” they triumphed, slowly leaving through the door they came in. the rest of their crew must be waiting out front, ellie knew this was your only chance. 

once the cost was clear ellie turned to you, “they’ll expect us to go through the back, let’s go back the way we came.” she whispered, taking her arm back. you nodded and followed her, she quickly moved past the bookcase and towards the door they had left wide open. seeing no one, and not hearing your horses she waved you on, exiting the grocery store through the broken window in which you had entered. 

coming back into the daylight their horse tracks went to the back of the building and you both took this opportunity to run into the trees on the opposite side of the deserted road. as you jumped into the snowy landscape, a horse neighed furiously. “hey! i see ‘em!” a grunty voice shouted and you and ellie took off running through the woods. you were following ellie, who was hoping this was the correct way back. but back where? where could she take you on foot they wouldn’t be able to catch up? the nearest patrol is miles out, but when you two didn’t show up for check in they would come looking. that could be hours before they find you, stumbling through the cold woods and ellie worried that you two wouldn’t make it through the night if you could get away from these guys. 

she pushed all of that away, focusing on the task at hand which was to get you away from them. you ran for a while, the woods came to life with sound, the horses behind you trying to bob and weave through the harsh trees, the heavy breathing of you and ellie crashing into the soft snow below you and the sinister sound of the men laughing as they narrowed down on you two. 

“keep running!” ellie shouted back to you as you passed her, she stopped reaching for her rifle and cocking it back. you didn’t listen, instead taking your pistol out at the same time. ellie was able to shoot down one of the men who had tried to flank them, his body tumbling down to the ground and his blood desecrating the pure white snow. 

focusing your vision as ellie reloaded her gun, you shot quickly. the bullet grazing one of the brutes in the cheek and he clutched his cheek as he barreled down on ellie–whose gun was jammed. you shot again, this time aiming for the horse’s legs and it went down before you could blink, hurdling the giant into a tree. he laid on the ground motionless as his buddies grew more angry, you grabbed ellie’s arm and she looked up to you with panicked eyes, slinging her forward in front of you she began running but not before checking that you were right behind her. 

hoping that the bodies of their friends would slow them down, you both sprinted away from the grizzly scene. ellie was in front of you, the tussle with them discombobulated her and she wasn’t sure what direction she was going in. everything was happening too fast for her to be able to stop and figure it out, and as she looked back to check on you and the proximity of her attackers she saw your eyes widen and as you screamed her name, she fell down an embankment. 

you didn’t think twice, knowing this would be a good barrier between you and your pursuers. ellie was already halfway down as you threw yourself down the steep hill, the trees spun around you and you couldn’t see anything. you could make out ellie as you tumbled, rolling uncontrollably and it seemed even faster than you were. it felt like years before you came to a stop at the bottom of the hill.

you groaned, lifting your head up and not seeing anyone following you. you put all your effort into sitting up and you clutched your side as you did. you cursed, your bag was missing, probably buried in snow somewhere and as you looked around you saw ellie. she was laying next to a tree, limp and moaning in pain. in a panic you tried to stand up but the pain in your side prevented you from moving even two steps so you crawled to her. “ellie!” you shouted, coming to her side. “ellie, are you okay?” you yelled again, shaking her lightly. looking back up the embankment, you didn’t see the men anymore and hoped they went to clean up their friends. 

as your eyes came back to ellie, she rolled over and in between big breaths she was able to get out, “hit.. the fuckin…tree.” she groaned, grasping at her limp arm. “fuck..my arm!” 

“c’mon, williams we gotta go,” you stated, looking around for her backpack since yours was nowhere in sight. you noticed it a few feet away and you used the tree to force yourself up, ellie saw you struggling and tried to get up on her own so you wouldn’t have to help her in your condition. taking her pack and slinging it on your shoulders you went back to her, she was leaning against the tree now, facing the embankment. 

you reached out your hand to her and you couldn’t read her face as she took it with her good arm, pulling herself up with a huff. your side screamed in pain as you trudged on, taking in short breaths even though you could barely breathe to begin with. ellie limped behind you, her limp arm at her side and every step she winced in pain. fully realizing you two were lost in the woods, you kept going in hopes of seeing jackson at some point. 

the men didn’t make any appearances and the further you walked the more you felt safe. the fresh snowfall that started was covering your tracks in the deep snow. walking in silence felt like the right thing to do, the adrenaline wearing off would mean bickering again and you liked the quiet sounds of the forest, and the occasional grunt from ellie behind you. the sun was nearly behind the mountains before ellie spotted a small hunting cabin to the left of your makeshift path. 

it was dainty, and probably only one room but as you both approached it, it was looking more and more inviting than the harshness of the cold you two had been enduring the last couple of hours. knocking on the door roughly and not hearing anything inside, you opened the wooden front door. it was small. the abandoned shelter was illuminated by the setting sun through the windows, you saw a fireplace that had more spider-webs than you’d ever seen. the “kitchen” immediately next to it consisted of a broken and ransacked fridge, a sink and only two cabinets. 

you smacked ellie’s pack down on the counter, and finally felt a smidge of peace. looking up and noticing there was no living room area in the single room, just a creaky wooden bed that ellie had sat down on still clutching her arm. you looked around and saw a wooden chair, smashed to pieces you shuffled over, taking as many as you could carry before tossing them into the empty fireplace. ellie watched as you did, wishing she could be more help but her arm was killing her and she worried it was more than just a break. 

she saw you wince as you bent down to pick up more wood and she had to look away, not being able to see you hurt for some reason. “we should splint your arm,” you suggested, tossing more wood into the fireplace but keeping a smaller, thicker stick in your hands. ellie just nodded and let you approach her and as you went to unzip her jacket she flinched back. “i can’t do it with your jacket on.” you snapped, your shitty mood pouring out onto her. 

she softened her face and unzipped her own jacket but needed your help taking it off completely. as you were slowly pulling it off her bad arm, she sighed deeply. her arm was revealed, having only worn a short sleeve under her jacket and you wondered how she wasn’t frozen solid by now. “jesus, els.” you breathed out as you looked upon her arm. it was black and blue all over, some spots were a bright yellow and you held back from gagging. the redness from being cold didn’t help make it look better either. 

“i’m fine,” she lied, not liking you taking care of her. “just make the fire first, would you?” 

not surprised with her attitude, you obliged because you were even still freezing. the sun was barely shining in the windows anymore and you knelt beside the wood and picked a few of the smaller pieces of wood. taking your knife, you whittled off sections, leaving them attached at the bottom to the main piece of wood to work as tinder. and as you worked, ellie watched. she admired your survival skills, remembering that this is what kept you alive before jackson. 

ellie and you knew more about each other than you’d ever admit. being as close as you two were for months, you often had long talks in her garage to distract yourselves from the mutual lingering feeling of longing for one another. but as she observed you working, she remained silent and you did too, feeling her eyes burning into your back. 

the fire bursted to life with flames and you backed away, feeding it more kindling from the broken chair. ellie felt the warmth from the bed and now that she wasn’t numb from being cold, her arm was feeling worse. she didn’t dare look down at it, you turned to see her struggling to find comfort. you took off your jacket, the cozy cabin becoming warmer with every second that passed. tearing at the bottom of your shirt got her attention, you ripped until you had a long enough strip to work with. 

taking the wooden piece that you are using as a splint you kneeled in front of her. “give me your arm,” you said, your hand hovering in front of her. she shuffled her body forward, inches from you and you gently stretched her arm out straight. her moans in pain were loud over the crackling fire, “i know, i know,” you comforted her and her groans stopped but were replaced with quick and short breaths. 

you aligned the wood with her arm, taking your ripped shirt fabric and started to wrap it around her arm. moans escaped her mouth, not being able to conceal how badly this hurt. “almost done…” you trailed as you tied a knot in the fabric to keep it in place. 

once you were finished, and ellie was about as bandaged up as she could be, you sat with your back against the bed. wincing as you did, your side still burning in pain that seemed to spread throughout your body. “lemme see,” ellie murmured, shifting off of the bed to sit next to you on the floor. you grumbled a small i’m fine like she had but she didn’t accept it. “let me see.” she said more sternly. 

you rolled your eyes, lifting up the side of your shirt where the pain is erupting from. she examined it, the bruising on your stomach was prominent and she grazed her fingers over your hot skin. you winced from her touch, her fingers cold on the burning black and blue. “told you, i’m fine.” you reinforced, pulling your shirt back down. 

“i promised you they wouldn’t touch you,” she whispered beside you, you heard the familiar aggression in her voice as it’s usually directed at you but this time it didn’t feel like it was. 

“they technically didn’t.” you recalled, staring into the fire. but ellie was gazing at you, her green eyes scanning the side of your blank face. 

“i should’ve seen the hill,” she shook her head, focusing her eyes on the fire like you were. “i told you they wouldn’t hurt you and now look. i swear to god if they ever show their face around jackson i’ll–” her voice turned sour and she stopped herself from revealing what she would do to them for causing you pain, and although you didn’t blame her for anything that happened today, you couldn’t help but feel angry with her and her sudden caring attitude. 

scoffing, you spoke, “i’ve been hurt worse than this.” ellie understood what you were implying and snapped her head back to you, hurt swimming in her eyes. 

“what is that supposed to mean?” she hissed back at you, her voice rising slightly. she knew exactly what it meant but couldn’t stop herself from getting defensive. 

you laughed in disbelief, “the way you’ve been treating me for years? does that not ring a fuckin’ bell?” your voice rising to meet hers. 

“you’ve been doing the same thing to me, so don’t act innocent.” her tone was sharp but calm and you hated her for her ability to keep her composure. 

“i never said i was innocent!” your blood boiling over, you looked at her, her eyes meeting yours before she darted them away. “if you hate me, hate me. don’t confuse me by acting like you fuckin’ care.” 

“i don’t fuckin’ care,” she spat, using her good arm to lift herself off of the ground. she did care. and it was obvious to you, but instead of arguing about it further you let her walk to the kitchen as she dug in her pack.

you remained silent in front of the fire and despite the pain you brought your knees to your chest for extra warmth, the cold disposition of your patrol partner sucking out any warmth the fire was giving to you. ellie tossed over a small ration pack of food harshly, and you reached to take it. not caring that she threw it at you because now that you were looking at it, you were starving. realizing you hadn’t eaten this morning like you intended to. 

ellie moved back near the fire, sitting in front of you but staring into the wall. it was quiet while you both ate, or better inhaled the food in front of you. “i was supposed to have the day off today,” you remarked, chuckling at the circumstances though not finding it entirely funny. “i shoulda just told maria to fuck off.” 

ellie turned to you looking confused. “wait, maria asked you to do this?” you nodded in response and she shook her head smirking, “she asked me last night if i could cover for–” 

“manny,” you both said at the same time. realizing maria had set you both up, and you both couldn’t help but not laugh about it. 

“she’s gonna feel so bad!” you laughed, and somehow it was the funniest thing in the world to the both of you in that moment. ellie was laughing harder than you had ever seen her and you realized how deeply you missed this side of her, and how long it had been since you did. was it shock? maybe, probably. but even ellie couldn’t help but enjoy the small moment after the day you two had. 

“she probably thinks we killed each other!” ellie added mid laughing, causing you two to remain that way for a little while longer. it really wasn’t funny, but in some fucked up way it was. after you both calmed down from the singular good moment you had had in years, ellie added, “i missed that.” 

“missed what?” you questioned, not wanting the moment to end. 

“your laugh,” she uttered, boring her green eyes into yours. “i know that’s not fair of me to say.” 

this was the ellie you remembered, before all the fighting she was always kind to you. she was thoughtful. and she cared about you more than anyone you met in jackson. she patiently waited for your response, trying to judge if you were still angry. “i think we’ve both said things to each other we shouldn’t have, els.”  she hid a smile at your response, forcing her eyes to the fire that illuminated the small room. after a small beat of comfortable silence, she turned back to you.

“i really am sorry,” she spoke again and you cut her off before she could continue. 

“it’s okay, really–” 

“no i mean– i shouldn’t have– we almost died today. you almost died and i just…” she trailed off, gathering her thoughts. “i wanted to kiss you that day too.” 

you looked at her perplexed, and as you opened your mouth to respond she talked again. “it’s complicated and i was just scared–” 

“scared of what, ellie?” you questioned her again. 

she lifted up her good arm, revealing her tattoo. bringing your eyes back to hers and she took note of your confusion. she shuffled over and sat beside you showing you her arm up close. “just look,” 

at first, all you noticed was the tattoo. the ink perfectly etched into her skin, but as you really looked at it you noticed small indents buried in an intricate part of the linework. you took her arm in your hands to examine it further. bite marks. they were old, but they were there beneath the tattoo, permanently altering her skin with a nasty scar. “what the fuck…” you whispered skeptically, tracing it over with your fingers. 

“i was fourteen, so don’t worry i think i would have been dead by now.” she joked, hoping to alleviate any negative feelings you had about this. she sat nervously next to you and if you weren’t holding her arm she feared she would be shaking. 

“what does this have to do with me?” you asked innocently, taking your eyes away from her arm but not letting go. 

“i thought if we had kissed that i’d infect you somehow,” she laughed thinking of the memory. “i really shoved you off the bed hard, huh?” 

“my ass was bruised for weeks, so yeah you did.” you laughed with her back and it felt like the last couple of years hadn’t happened. 

“awww, poor princess,” she mocked you playfully. it almost threw you off, being as she hasn’t been playful in forever but you rejoiced in it. 

“shut up!” you played back, throwing her arm out of your hands and back into her lap. ellie noticed how close you two were, closer than when you splinted her arm, and it made her feel safe. she brought her hand back up to your face slowly and you let her, she swept strands of hair behind your ear. “you’re not scared now, though?” you pressed on, catching onto her intentions. 

“oh, i’m terrified.” ellie spoke softly, inches from your face. she cupped your cheek in her hand and gazed at you lovingly, her eyes darting from your eyes to your lips. she felt her stomach doing flips as she leaned in to close the final stretch that separated you two, as she did, hard knocks pounding at the door pulled you apart from each other. 

the door opened, revealing a disheveled joel and tommy. “thank god!” joel exclaimed, entering the cabin. “we saw the smoke, you guys are five miles off the normal route. what the hell happened?”

they helped you both home and to see the medics and it was nearly a day later when you saw ellie again. you endured what felt like thousands of visits from friends and neighbors that wanted to wish you a good recovery, and they were sorry to hear what happened. you were put on bed rest for a few broken ribs and they all hurt severely anytime you moved. 

but when ellie came through your bedroom door, you shot up in bed ignoring the pain that was plaguing you. she filled you in on what’s been going on, rangers are out looking for the group of men that attacked you both and they think they have a good lead on the group. this comforted you, but not nearly as much as ellie’s presence. she had a fresh cast on her arm, and ellie pointed out that it was really itchy, making you laugh. 

“maria feels really bad,” she smirked, a small laugh escaping her lips. “but she’s gloating about her plan working.” 

“course she is,” you answered. she moved across your room and sat down on the side of your bed to face you, looking down to your hands and took them in hers. “we might have to put on a show for her, can’t have her head gettin’ too big.” 

“anything you wanna do princess,” she leaned down and kissed your forehead. “but first, rest.” 

you groaned, “i hate you.” 

“i hate you more, now c’mon lay down.” she gently pushed you back down into the bed and you scooted over leaving room for her. she snuggled up next to you as you laid your head on her chest, hearing her soothing heartbeat as she played with your hair and you both fell asleep peacefully. feeling nothing but safe with one another. 

[itsmaferart]

Chapter 86 of the Spy x Family manga is so satisfying if you remember that in all the previous Twiyor scenes you had a very stressed, distrustful and frustrated Twilight for not being able to understand his wife and a very disappointed Yor with herself for not being help her husband. Watching Twilight thinking about:

"Oh no my wife may be an agent sent to trick me... I can't let my guard down!"

"Oh, my wife is mad at me for asking her to do the shopping, I'm incompetent!!… She's going to leave me!!

"I can't even cheer up my wife when she's upset! She only hates me more!"

"….Oh no. Isn't my wife madly in love with me? Did she goad me into my honey trap? She must be an agent sent to trick me??!"

"My wife has a problem with me?! Are you unhappy with our life?! Surely she is behind the door waiting for me adorably furious"

"Don't trust yourself, Twilight! Behind that smile there must be an irrepressible anger!! You're relaxing, Twilight!!"

While Yor's pretty head is a bundle of insecurities

"Loid is distant this morning, surely he must think that I am a terrible wife"

"I am a failure of a wife" …. "She will surely replace me"

"…They're a bunch of brute force…it's the only thing I'm good for"

"Hurry, I have to complain about my husband who is waiting for me to complain"

Among so many misunderstandings, it is the first time that we FINALLY see Loid and Yor talking formally about this problem, about their mutual and personal distrust and realizing that no problem between them is as big as they think (when you speak from the heart)

Yor mistrusts herself because she feels that she is a failure of a wife by not being able to take care of Loid anymore, because her wishes have never been to leave them, but rather to be there forever to receive them with a smile. She knows that she will always take care of Anya and will give her as many hugs as she asks for.

But until now, her husband, too serious, has never wanted to ask her for help, but on the contrary, fill himself with so much work that he makes her feel left out (accidentally). She just wishes that he would "trust her a little more, even if she's not as perfect as him."

Because Yor wants to be valued and loved by her family even if she burns a few shirts or serves an indigestible dinner... Because you just want to be there to take care of them

Because she knows that the world is very hard and in the end Loid (Twilight) is a man who is exhausted, with pain in his stomach and shaky legs because of how stressful it is to bring peace to the world, and take care of his daughter's smile. .

Trusting in Yor at the end of the day is the light at the end of so much darkness in his life, it is a relief after so much stress.

Even if for him his wife (and daughter) are (still) his biggest weakness. He may one day see that they are his greatest strength.

This talk in the privacy of their home may be a very small step for Loid and Yor, but a giant step for Twiyor.

[hattersarts]

gomens s2 thoughts, all spoilers!

I spent 10 hours talking to my housemate about the season after we binged the whole thing in the morning but here are the highlights and the biggest takeaways from the season.

okay i did love the ending, i love that we get the conformation of love AND going into the divorce arc next season (if they're not properly together by the end of season 3 however, i am rioting) they're slow burn and a whole season of them getting to the final 10mins was tasty.

HOWEVER. it was an extremely clunky season when it comes to writing, lots of either set ups missed OR set ups repeated 4 times that they're drilled into out heads. there was also lots of dialogue that really needed to be tightened up. the lesbians were so poorly written i thought they might have needed to be cut BUT they just needed to have more bearing on the rest of the plot AND say things like real people would say things and LITERALLY SHOW ONE SINGLE REASON WHY THEY WOULD LIKE EACH OTHER WITHIN THE FIRST EPISODE.

gabe/bulz romance was the one that should have been cut, have them do more of a oh-my-god-my-boss-sucks kind of thing, lean into them complaining about having to avert a civil war after armageddon stopped and touch on the "structural problems" the angels mention later. Have gabe/bulz be super punished for working together which puts huge fear into az and crowley about what happens if you try to team up as an angel/demon pair (but an extra reason why az takes the job at the end so he and crowley can be the same)

imo it works more if the only mirror of their romance is the HUMANS which should lean into themes to season 3 of how they need to team up with humans (re:"us vs them" line at the end of season 1) to actually achieve their happy ending.

Nina and maggies best scene was their last one telling crowley he needed to talk to az but i think that was one that needed to be cut, it would have been far more satisfying to have crowely work out it out himself that he loves az and wants to tell him (still via maggie and nina but more subtle rather than them telling him to his face AND via spending more time with az in the season)

flashbacks were all pretty good, loved the jobe one and that final "lonely" scene. the nazi one needed some trimming the most (why did all three come back to earth, it made scenes too crowed, have them fight to be a zombie)

shax was disappointing, she was kind of just incompetent the whole way through which didnt make the stakes very exciting, (that whole scene of her talking to the legion was unfunny and pointless) i wanted crowley to mentor her more like when he gave her advice in the first few meetings we saw (kind of in a very non-demonic way, not expecting anything in return) and her to then meet him on equal footing in the finale. would have been a little accidental taste for Crowley to have his good deeds come back to haunt him while showing he's different to demons.

speaking of the finale fight, that halo had NO set up, it was sick as hell but ??? the fuck did that come from. the fight should have been won by az and crowley performing another HUGE miracle together, discorporating the demons (which then would alert heaven and hell something was up in the bookshop and the final scene can happen)

az taking the job from metatron was very good, its consistent with his character where he still hasn't let go of his faith in good/god, he's only been upset by the angels running heaven and still has faith in the system while crowley has realised none of it works and it's only them together that matters. it was nice to show he still hasn't truly accepted crowley for who he is now (tho imo he knows he loves him, he just hasn't quite unrepressed himself) and him not turning down the job after crowley confesses to him shows he still thinks he can fix it. Crowley on the other hand thinks he's now lost him, az has broken he the trust he had in him, he's going to be in big depression mode

few thoughts of good directions for S3:

finally delivering on what crowley said at the end of S1 I think is the most satisfying. the final showdown should be humans Vs heaven/hell with Crowley and az on the human side, helping them win the conflict. there would be suggestions that this is actually god's ineffable plan, this is a conflict she wants to happen and the things that Crowley and az went through are what make them perfect ambassadors to help the humans.

the set up for az in S3 to finally work out he and Crowley can't work out within the unfair rules of the system and for him to abandon heaven (tho not I think, becoming a demon) is good. a sucky ending imo for season 3 is if az somehow "fixes" heaven and via bureaucracy and not via blowing it all up.

growth moments for Crowley in S3 might be having more contact with humans since he's already abandoned hell and it would put az & crowley on similar footing (as az very much loves humans already) when they decided to side with humans for a humans Vs heaven/hell conflict.

anyway, gay people

[queenvhagar]

Bestie can I be so for real I am so upset about the way Aemond is written. Season 1 Aemond is basically book Daeron but angsty, but Season 2 Aemond is like book Daemon (disloyal, wants power). Not that book Aemond was someone to applaud for loving his family, that dude was a psycho but he was such a LOYAL psycho. Smh.

Bestie you are absolutely right. Season 1 Aemond and season 2 Aemond are so disconnected and there's no through line or explanation for why. Seemingly they just decided to go with a different characterization suddenly, maybe because they realized Aemond was fairly sympathetic in the first season.

His true characterization is loyalty to his family and willingness to do anything for them, and Aegon and Aemond are loyal to each other. Go to Storm's End and betroth yourself to secure an ally for the Greens? Aemond will do it for Aegon. Kill your nephew and probably guarantee war? Aegon will throw a feast to celebrate and support Aemond's actions. Need to take out one of the Black's dragons? Aegon and Aemond will attack together. Aegon is injured and unable to rule? Aemond will rule as regent and refuse to take the throne from him. Aegon and all his surviving children are missing, his mother and sister imprisoned, and Rhaenyra and Daemon have taken king's landing with help from houses in the Riverlands? Aemond will burn everything to get vengeance for his family and draw Daemon out to battle against him. Aemond takes down Daemon but dies in the process? Aegon orders a massive statue to commemorate his brother and honor his loyalty and legacy.

But because the Greens are supposed to be caricature disorganized incompetent and selfish villains, they hate each other and put each other down even in the midst of war. Aemond has to be an outright evil and self-interested, power hungry anime baddie who hates his lazy, hedonistic, sadistic brother Aegon apparently 🙄 and Helaena is just there in the background as a non character at this point and everything that defined her character in the book is removed.

It really is out of character and makes no sense for Aemond to take out his own brother and his dragon when they're at war with a faction of the family that has several dragons and that faction poses a much more significant threat to Aemond than Aegon does... It's really just lazy writing. Instead of actually exploring the character motivations of the two, like how Lucerys' murder led to Blood and Cheese and how the brothers feel about that, it's turned into "Aemond wants to kill Aegon over petty childish bullying and because he wants the throne." Like be for real 🙄

[multifandomlover01]

Stress Relief

Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU!)Stressed!Fem!Dom!Reader

Established Relationship

WC: ~2.9k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI sub!Spencer, dom!reader (soft dom and kinda mean dom at some points), Mommy kink, CNC (kinda; safe word/use is mentioned/implied to be in place), Spencer wants reader to hurt him, to use him as stress relief, reader puts her hand on his throat but does not restrict his airflow, degradation (Spencer is referred to as a whore a few times), objectification (Spencer gets called a toy), slight dumbification (description, not dialogue), slight praise kink (in dialogue), almost caught by Derek, Hotch knew

Summary: While reader is under investigation for a perceived bad shoot on a case, Spencer sees how stressed she is and wants to help her relieve some

Gif credit: imagining-in-the-margins

Gif from 7x13 and some plot based on Season 7 opener but that placement is loose (used more as a template) and not in stone. It can be set really anywhere. It’s not specified.

“Look at my record. You will not find one reprimand on it for my behavior. Unless you’re now questioning my unit chief’s ability to be effective in the position instead of my alleged incompetence as an agent.”

After being grilled for an hour about your conduct on a recent case, the Lead Investigator had the nerve to suggest that Hotch was covering for you and your behavior, as if it were a habitual problem.

"To your knowledge, has Agent Hotchner ever falsified a report?"

"No. I have never asked him to do so and to my knowledge he has never done so on my behalf. If he has falsified a report without my knowledge, you'd have to ask him about it."

-

“Hey…what happened?” Spencer asks softly as he sees your expression as you come out of the room.

“I can’t discuss it.” You say simply, curtly, as you walk past your team, leaving them concerned.

Spencer almost instinctively follows you.

You were moving fast but he caught up to you with his long legs.

“Hey, Y/N. Wait, please.” He says pleadingly, reaching out to touch your elbow. You stop and turn to face him.

“I really don’t want to talk right now.”

"Then let's not talk."

"What?"

"Follow me." He gingerly grasps your wrist and guides you to an empty supply room.

-

The kiss was getting more passionate. You were clutching tightly to his shirt collar as you kissed him deeply. You could feel yourself slowly losing yourself in your feelings and you had to stop this before you went too far.

“Baby, baby, stop…I can’t do this right now…I might hurt you with the emotional state that I’m in.” You reluctantly pushed him away.

“Then hurt me.” He looks at you pleadingly, his lips red and puffy. His face was flushed as well.

“Wh-what?” You ask, caught off guard by his request.

“If it’ll make you feel better, hurt me.” He says with complete sincerity.

“N-no…I can’t do that.” You shake your head.

“Please…I see how upset you are. You’re furious about whatever happened in that room. You need to let this stress out instead of just bottling it up inside. That’s not healthy. Use me as stress relief, please. I promise I’ll safe word if it gets to be too much. But you need this. I can see that you do.”

“Spencer…I-I can’t…” your head reels at his words.

“But feel how hard I am for you, hon.” He says sweetly as he takes your hand and places it over the bulge in his pants. He’s definitely not above manipulation. That much is most certainly clear. “Come on…tell me I’m a whore for being this aroused by you when you’re this upset. Punish me for being a bad boy.”

“Spencer…” you warn lightly.

“Mommy…please…I’ve been such a bad boy. You’re all angry and I’m all horny. That’s just not fair. Punish me.” He whispers in your ear.

“Spencer…” you groan.

“That’s it, miss…get angry with me.” He grinds his hips against yours.

“Stop it.” You grit out.

“No.”

He’s pushing you. You shouldn’t let him but he knows full well what he’s doing and how to do it. The more you resist, the more he’ll push.

“Spencer…I’m not in the mood for this right now.”

“Yes, you are…you just refuse to let yourself be. Come on…give in.”

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Spence.”

“I promised to safe word if I needed to. And I will. But you need this. I want you to do this to me. I’m letting you do this. Just let yourself lean into it.” He begins to massage your shoulders. You’re really tense.

“Damn you.” You mutter.

His hands are off your shoulders and his hips are grinding against yours again. He's smirking at you. Your hands glide up to his shoulders and you’re whirling him around so he’s now against the wall and you’re pressing him into it. He doesn’t even try to fight you. You’re in control. You can do whatever you want to him and he’ll let you.

“You wanna be a bad boy…goad Mommy even more?”

He nods. “Yes, Mommy. Wanna make you angry. Want you to take your stress out on me. I really do promise I’ll safe word if I need to. But I want you to use me, Mommy, please.”

He looks so soft and pathetic. You growl slightly before cupping his face and kissing him passionately. He melts against you, still bucking his hips against yours before you press more into him. He whimpers at the pressure against his hard cock through his clothes. He stops his hip movement.

He moans into the kiss. He's being louder than usual and you realize that he's still likely trying to goad you into it more. You're in a semi-public place so you're all for it. You break the kiss and set a hand against his neck. You're not squeezing, it's just there on his neck.

"Shut up." You hiss.

"But it feels so good, Mommy. Want you to know how good you make me feel."

"Well we can't very well get caught, now can we? So be quiet."

"Make me."

You glare at him and he just smirks because this is exactly what he wants. He wants to make you angry. He wants you to take your anger out on him.

"I know what you're trying to do." You lean in close and whisper.

"I know you do. But it's still working, isn't it?"

"What's your color?"

"Oh so green, ma'am." He has a cocky grin on his face.

You chuckle and shake your head before you squeeze ever so slightly on his throat. You can practically see his eyes glaze over slightly with lust.

"You're sure this doesn't bother you?" You ask, still wary and concerned.

"I'm very sure. Please...keep going." He smiles reassuringly at you.

"I'm gonna bite you...you're gonna let me...and you're gonna be a good boy and be quiet, ok?"

He smiles and nods. "Ok,"

You release his neck and lean in. You waste no time smelling him, kissing him, or nibbling him. You just sink your teeth right into his neck.

He sucks in air. It hurts a bit but he loves it and he's going to take whatever his Mommy needs to give him to make herself feel better. That’s all that matters to him right now.

You bite and suck a nice mark onto his neck. He gets over the pain and lets his pleasure consume him. He’s moaning pornographically.

“Still don’t wanna be quiet?” You hiss against his neck.

“Still feels so good, Miss.”

“You’re such a whore.” You chuckle softly.

“But I’m your whore, ma’am.” He looks at you with heart eyes.

“Don’t make me do something I don’t want to do…now be quiet.”

“What will you do, Mommy? Hmm? Tell me what you’ll do if I can’t keep quiet.”

“I’ll take your tie off and stuff it in your slutty little mouth.”

“Oh please do that, please. You know the second you get your hand around my cock, I’m gonna be gone. I won’t be able to keep quiet.”

“Who said I’d be touching your cock?” You smirk.

“Wh-what?” He looks at you with those sad puppy dog eyes of his.

“Just kidding, hon.” You squeeze his bulge and he gasps sharply.

“Oh yes, Mommy, please, stroke my cock and get me ready for you.”

“You gonna be quiet?”

He shakes his head no. You chuckle. You quickly work his tie off and bunch it up and shove it in his already open mouth. You make quick work of getting his slacks undone, running your hand over his bulge through the material of his boxers. He moans through the tie. It thankfully is finally muffled.

You continued to rub him through his boxers. His head falls back against the wall and his eyes flutter closed.

“Does that feel good, baby?”

“Mhm.” He hums and nods.

You slip your hand inside his boxers and fondle his balls. He jolts.

"I'm gonna get you nice and hard, baby, and then I'm gonna use your cock to get me off, would you like that? Would my little whore like his Mommy to use him for her own pleasure like he was just a toy?" You squeeze his balls and he sobs into the gag, tears forming in his eyes. He nods his head enthusiastically.

You chuckle. "Thought so."

You get his slacks and his boxers pushed down, letting his cock free of its confines. It stands hard and more or less tall and proud. You take it in one hand and stroke it. Spencer moans into the gag.

“Love how even though this is about my stress relief, you still moan like the whore you are.”

Tears slip down his face. He sobs into the tie.

"'M sorry." gets muffled by the gag but it is more or less understandable.

"It's ok, baby. Just don't forget who this is about."

He nods, indicating that he remembers exactly who this is all for. You. Not him.

"Stroke yourself...slowly." You command and he obeys immediately as he takes over from you. You kick your flats off and take your own pants and underwear off completely. You take Spencer's hand and guide it to your sex as you take back over stroking him from him.

"Rub." You command and he obey immediately as he rubs at your clit in just the right way that he knows will get you wet and ready to use him.

After a few minutes of rubbing your clit, he moans into the tie when he feels how wet you are.

"Stop." You command and he does. By now his cock is hard and ready.

"Should I make you lay down on the floor so I can ride you?" You wonder out loud and Spencer nods enthusiastically.

"Alright, then. Be a good little toy and get on the ground."

He doesn't have to be told twice and immediately lies down on the ground on his back. His pants and boxers are still only halfway down his legs but he doesn't care. He can only bring himself to care about you.

He watches you intently as you position yourself. He moans into the gag when you rub his cock head over your slit and clit. He can feel how wet you are.

Tears brim at the edges of his eyes when you keep doing it and don’t put his cock inside of you already.

"Pwease." He murmurs through the tie that is still stuffed in his mouth.

"Please what, baby? I can't understand you." You tease before you slowly work the tip of his cock through your entrance.

Once again, he is moaning around the tie.

"Shh, honey. You're too loud." You continue to tease him as you slowly work more of his cock in you, which causes him to now whine into the tie.

You rock your hips back and forth slowly when you fully sink down on him. His eyes are glued to where his cock disappeared inside of you. His eyes drag up your body and land on your clothed breasts. He stares. He wants to see your breasts bounce as you bounce on his cock.

You look at where he’s looking and smirk.

“It is rather hot in here, isn’t it?” You chuckle and he nods quickly, eyes gleaming.

You slowly unbutton your shirt and he’s looking at the show with intrigue. You shrug the shirt off your shoulders and take your bra off next.

He moans softly into the tie when your breasts are fully revealed to him.

“Does my pretty toy wanna see my breasts bounce while I use him?”

He nods as tears spill from his eyes. You rock your hips back and forth before lifting them up and down. His gaze is still fixed firmly upon your bouncing breasts.

He desperately wants to touch them, to knead them, to rub his thumbs over your nipples. But he hasn’t been instructed to do that. He hasn’t been instructed not to do that either but he’d rather be safe and not do it than do it and be sorry because you didn’t tell him to do it. He knew that he’d get punished if he did something that you hadn't instructed him to do. And he didn’t want to get punished. This was about you. Not him. He had to be a good boy for you. And good boys do what they are told. Good boys don’t do things they weren’t told to do.

You start to bounce on his cock, his tip hitting just the right spot inside for the both of you. He didn't dare cum unless you gave him permission to, though.

You snake a hand down to rub at your clit. Spencer wants to rub your clit for you but he hasn’t been told to and he can’t very well ask to due to the fact that his tie is still stuffed in his mouth. He just watches you as you pleasure yourself and relieve your stress. He is happy he can help you in any way he can.

Tears brim at his eyes when he feels like he’s close to cumming and is trying really hard not to.

“You can cum in me if you want but then you’re getting my pussy on your mouth.” You tell him in a neutral tone, evidently happy to use him in any way to get off.

Spencer’s brain goes haywire trying to figure out what the best course of action is but his dick feels so good in your pussy that it’s the only thing he can bring himself to think about. His mind gets clouded with pleasure. He doesn’t even realize that he cums inside of you until you’re getting off of him.

You take the tie out of his mouth and use it to collect the bit of his cum on your thighs that’s leaking out of you. You don’t care that he can’t wear it now because it’s stained and that its absence would still raise questions among the team.

You repositioned yourself, your cunt hovering over his mouth. He opens his mouth and pants lightly, sticking his tongue out like a dog as he eagerly waits for you to sit on your throne (meaning his face). When you do, his lips immediately begin to suck on your clit as he wraps them around it.

You grind against his face and his tongue delves into your heat. His nose bumps your clit as his tongue flicks in and out of you.

“That’s it…such a good toy.” You praise as you card your fingers through his hair.

He whimpers against you. You rock more back and forth and he licks and sucks more. He knows you don’t have much time left before the team gets suspicious or either of you are wanted by the Lead Investigator. He works faster to bring you to an orgasm, paying special attention to licking and sucking your clit. Your arousal coats his lips and chin.

There is a knock on the supply room door.

Spencer stills his movement, mortified at the prospect of getting caught. He expects you to stop and get off of him. But you don’t.

Instead, you grasp his hair a bit tightly and hiss: “don’t you dare fucking stop.” And so, he continued.

“You two wanna stop smooching? They’re gonna want Reid next after Hotch.” Derek’s voice comes through the door.

“Uh…y-yeah…we’ll be out in a minute!” You call back out to him, succeeding and not letting him in on the fact that you were not in fact smooching.

“You gotta make me cum in the next minute, baby, can you do that? Pretty please?” You softly as you tug on Spencer’s hair again.

“Mhm.” He hums as he doubles his previous efforts. He’s licking and sucking faster. And you have to work harder to contain your moans.

It only takes a minute before his face is getting even more coated in your arousal. He moans deeply against you but it’s muffled still. You get off of him and clean up and get dressed quickly.

Derek is outside of the room and surveys the two of you. You’d done a good job of hiding what you’d done and Derek just thinks you two were kissing.

You go back amongst the group and Spencer is called in next after Hotch.

Hotch sits down next to you after he comes out. He doesn’t look happy.

“Did they ask you too?” You ask as you look over at him.

He nods. “They did. It’s completely unwarranted and inappropriate. They’re going after both of us for things they know we didn’t do just to try and justify investigating you for something else you didn’t do. Anyway…did you and Reid…have a nice time?” He asks with a small smile on his face.

“Wh-what?” You ask, cheeks tinging pink as you look at him to see if he’s asking what you’re afraid that he’s asking.

“You seem pretty pissed. You’re under investigation here. I can only imagine how it was for you. Did you let off that steam?” He asks and is completely serious but doesn’t seem mad.

“Sir…I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.”

“Just say yes or no and we can drop the subject. I just want to make sure one of my best agents isn’t keeping her emotions bottled up until they explode.”

“Y-yes…it got…taken care of.” You answered, feeling weird about your unit chief asking you such a question.

“Good.” He nods.

[vegaseatsass]

I'm rewatching Manner of Death with my friends who have never seen it in advance of 4 Minutes Friday, and experiencing Inspector M with people who have seen Wandee Goodday and more or less shriek like they're at a Beatles concert every time Great comes onscreen means I'm paying a lot more attention to his character this time around instead of just giggling at his incompetence and gratuitously tight uniform, then redirecting my attention. We all firmly believe he's in love with Doctor Bun but physiologically incapable of not fumbling that bag every chance he gets; I cannot believe M had a chance to court the hot doctor before every other character in the series fell in love with him, and he left Bun alone at a club to go pratfall into his future husband's arms instead of properly wining and dining him himself. Absolutely a metaphor for his police work. For me the absolute funniest thing M did so far was get REALLY insulted and upset when Doctor Bun said cops were wasting taxpayer dollars, like this really genuinely hurt his feelings, and go out of his way to follow ONE SINGLE CLUE (the abortion clinic clue he got from the journalist's laptop which BUN put all the effort and legwork into finding and rightfully steals back later), finally do ONE SINGLE PIECE OF WORK (but also arrest Fan, the town hero, so even his one win comes with innate-to-the-job copfails), and come running back to freely hand Bun police documents and bring him into a police interrogation just so he can be like see? see? I am helpful and good! I am still an eligible bachelor in a uniform three sizes too tight wyd tonight

Like he actually says out loud "Now do you think the police are wasting taxpayer dollars :D?" after he does this. He genuinely wants Doctor Bun's approval so badly despite making choice after choice that confirms every ACAB opinion he has. Lol I don't know if I can get across how funny I am finding it but I do think his writing is pretty great in that he is a COP cop, he obviously really believes in the police as an institution and will always choose them first and obey his commander's commands, but this hot man reading him to filth every time he turns around is still shaking him and making him want himself and the police as an institution to be able to be something they're not. Which is an entertaining position for an incompetent policeman to find himself in. I am enjoying it greatly.

[claiestve]

𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐲𝐬 ꨄ Dontis

˜”* ❝𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚, 𝙄'𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙖 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ᴅᴏɴᴛɪꜱ ɴᴇᴇᴅꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ ᴍᴜᴄʜ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

"Does this hurt you?" 

You wrapped Dontis’ hands and arms with a bandage. They were covered in scars and heartbreakingly deep cuts. You knew he was strong enough to handle the pain but it still upset you seeing him like this. At least he came back in one piece though, right? Still, you wished he’d be more careful. 

"No."

"Why didn't you take me with you?"

“You need a break from the hunting and the fighting. Why would I take you? Even then, my life was on the line and I would never put yours at the same risk.”

He was awfully serious today. Like, less bubbly and gentle. You could tell why, he was injured in every place imaginable and he just came back from defending himself and other people. No matter how long someone’s been alive, that’s something that’ll forever shake them. Nonetheless, you wished he lightened up a bit. It was usually you that’d be the pessimistic one. Not that he was being negative, just, less positive. 

“Maybe if I was there, this wouldn’t happen.”

“Yeah, to me. It’d happen to you and then I’d be here caressing your hands, flirting with you, and making you feel bad.”

“I am not flirting with you, Dontis. I’m trying to help you.”

“Lying won’t get you anywhere, dear.”

You rolled your eyes at his remark. All you wanted was for him to be safe and healthy and you wished more than anything that you were there. You knew he could handle himself. He’s not incompetent but you just have that instinct for your dear incubus.

“And… Done! Can you move your arm well enough?”

“Ah, yeah. Thank you.”

He adjusted himself onto the bed and laid back. He seemed more tense than usual. You narrowed it down to him just being in a lot of pain. It made sense, he came to you with his arms practically painted with blood. Those cuts were deep too. 

“Are you going to keep staring or will you join me?��� He smiled at you. 

“I mean, do you want me to?”

“It would make me feel better.”

He opened his arms out for you as you adjusted yourself. Dontis loved doing that, holding you. He loved to have you in his arms, on his chest, and breathing at the same pace as him. You loved it just as much. Though, you’d never admit it and you’d never ask to cuddle. 

When he finally had you, he wrapped his arm around your back, having your chest face his. His grip was more secure than usual. 

“Dontis?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Ah,” He cleared his throat, “Yeah? Why? Do I seem off? I’m sorry if I do.”

That. Right there. Not that Dontis was impolite, because he wasn’t, but he was unapologetically himself. That’s who he is and has been since you’ve met him. But right now, he’s apologizing for… acting strange?

“Dontis. You can talk to me. Actually, no. Please talk to me.”

He used his free hand to hold one of yours, playing with your fingers. 

“I suppose I’ve just been thinking a lot. I’m a survivor of something huge and I made it out with my friend and his love. I should feel accomplished and I do.”

“But?”

“But I can’t. I can’t dwell on this. I have a purpose, to comfort. It seems my kind only live to serve their purpose. I don’t want to though. I want to live my life and with people, I love without only serving my purpose. I do love comforting people but if I could just have a domestic life with you and settle…”

“Why can’t you?”

“It’s not in my blood. I’m not even supposed to think about it. You shouldn’t be the one listening to me anyway. Just… act like I didn’t say anything.”

You unraveled your intertwined fingers and held his hand by the palm. Caressing your hand, Dontis hummed, knowing you would put him in check. 

“Dontis. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act like it’s okay, don’t.”

“You’re not supposed to be my therapist, that’s my job.”

He tried to pull his hand away from yours. It didn’t work. You wouldn’t let him push this aside. You wanted him to know that you were there for him no matter what. 

“I don’t care what your job is, Dontis. It doesn’t matter. I’m here for you no matter what. Yeah, your kind have things you’re ‘meant to do’ but Dontis, you’re so much more than that. You’re more than what you were born as, okay?”

“Thank you. You know, you’re kind of good at this. Maybe you’ve learned some things from yours truly.” He teased. 

It was nice to see him being playful again and embracing his personality. He knew he wasn’t alone in this as long as you were here and that’s all you wanted. 

“I love you, okay?”

“I know, dear hunter, I love you too.”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

haihaihaihai!!!

[least-carpet]

I am curious: how do you think would work realistically a jc and wwx's reconciliation? Have you any meta on them and their relationship?

I'm sorry this took a minute, anon! Work has been frankly chaotic. But I saw an anti-reconciliation post¹ and I have been roused from my post-work stupor.

Unfortunately, you asked me for something I'm incompetent at, which is plotting. (Otherwise I would have already unleashed my ningcheng fic upon the world.) What I can talk about is what I find compelling about potential reconciliation and potential scenarios.

Why do I love a post-canon reconciliation?

Apart from really liking their relationship and finding it compelling—IMO it's the heart of the narrative of the first life—what I actually enjoy about it is what it offers in terms of development for Wei Wuxian.

I read Wei Wuxian as having displaced and projected a lot of his unresolved trauma onto Jiang Cheng. I've talked a little before about my reading of Jiang Cheng as the "bad feelings" sin eater of the Yunmeng Trio—neither Jiang Yanli nor Wei Wuxian feel like they can express deep unhappiness, but Jiang Cheng is bad at hiding his, so in some way it's his job to embody the collective unhappiness of the children of that family system.

But although this makes Wei Wuxian merry and likeable, it's not actually good for anyone, or even sustainable—when he loses control, he really loses control. And his coping skills are extremely self-destructive, as we can see from the post-war downward spiral of drinking and avoidance. I also think his experiences in his childhood (losing his parents and being homeless) plus his wartime experiences gave him some kind of trauma disorder that contributes to his terrible memory, which he's turned into his primary coping mechanism (apart from alcohol). If I Simply Close My Eyes And Run Away, My Bad Feelings Can't Get Me!

But, like, repressing your feelings doesn't work forever. He's compartmentalized his whole first life to function in the second one, but that means giving up on everything and everyone he loved, including the Jiang siblings and Lotus Pier. That's incredibly tragic to me.

Sometimes I think antis are so happy to demonize Jiang Cheng in order to minimize the depth of the loss Wei Wuxian has suffered. If he never loved Jiang Cheng, if they were never close and devoted to one another, if their childhood was an unending misery, then wouldn't Wei Wuxian be much freer in the present?

But what I think has happened is that the loss is so huge that it's completely terrifying and threatening. So are the feelings around killing Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli's death, and the death of Wen Qing and the Wen remnants. It's too much, so he blocks it out or, in some cases, projects it onto Jiang Cheng.

Of course, Jiang Cheng will never forgive him, because he irreparably ruined Jiang Yanli's life and then she died trying to save him and Jin Ling became an orphan. It's all his fault; it can't be forgiven; he might as well give up on it...

Jiang Cheng is obviously very angry and upset with him, it's true. But you can see how projecting his guilt and shame over his actions onto Jiang Cheng and then running away from Jiang Cheng is also a way for him to escape his guilt and shame over what happened to Jiang Yanli. (And to escape all the repressed resentment he has for Jiang Cheng because of the core transfer.²)

But there are two tragic elements of this approach. One, that by doing this he yields up any possible relationship with Jiang Cheng, and with the Jiang Sect, because by all means Wei Wuxian must escape him in order to outrun his terrible feelings. Two, that it's another coping mechanism that distorts the reality of the situation, which is that they were all swept up in power games beyond their capacity to manage, and they did their best—the Jiang siblings, the Wen siblings, Jin Zixuan, and Wei Wuxian—and it still went badly for everyone except the Jin Sect.

I don't think he can confront that yet. But I do think that Wei Wuxian feels very safe with Lan Wangji, and sometimes a safe and supportive relationship can provide the resources to do things you didn't think you could do before.

Can you imagine a different conversation, that begins with the bald acknowledgement of failure and wrongdoing³? "I never meant for all of that to happen. I did what I thought was right, but I never thought Jiang Yanli would be harmed, and I didn't intend to kill Jin Zixuan. I am so sorry. I miss her."

GIVE THE CATHARSIS TO ME. GIVE IT HERE.

A Wei Wuxian who has reached a point where he's capable of that accountability and vulnerability is delicious to me. A Wei Wuxian who can get there can return to Lotus Pier and rebuild a relationship with the living sect and his living sect brother.

How could it happen?

The trick is how to get there, 'cause it's like trying to herd cats where one cat is mortally afraid of facing the second and the other one has betrayal trauma and abandonment issues. But the cats love each other! They do!

I don't see Jiang Cheng initiating. I see him as being more open to a reconciliation, now that he knows why Wei Wuxian did what he did, but I see him as being profoundly afraid of trapping people in relationship with him or inflicting himself on people who don't want him around. (Not, like, for politics. In that arena I assume he's unpleasant when necessary to great effect.)

Fortunately, Wei Wuxian can be led if you're cunning enough to do it and you bait the trap with something good (see the plot of MDZS for Nie Huaisang's very successful demonstration of this principle). He also will increase pursuit if you dangle and withdraw the bait.

The question, of course, is what makes good bait for catching Wei Wuxian. Some options:

Option 1: murder mystery. Someone dies in an exciting way that involves Jiang Cheng. (Wei Wuxian will involve himself, dude loves a murder mystery.) It could be in the Jiang Sect or the Jin Sect; if it involves Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng will jump in with a swiftness.

Option 2: Jiang Cheng marriage rumours. Doesn't even have to involve unsavoury rumous about the potential wife; Jiang Cheng getting married without him (like Jiang Yanli) would dredge up some feelings, I think.

Option 3: Jiang Cheng tragic illness or curse rumours. You better be sure it was in a past life, cause it looks like this one might be over soon!

Option 4: Forced together time (due to a night hunt or a kidnapping, etc.). It's time for the getting along shirt!

To borrow from SVSSS, you might need a scenario-pusher for it to happen. But the world of MDZS is rife with these opportunities, and cultivators can live a very long time. So there's hope yet!

Footnotes:

1. This is a perfectly reasonable viewpoint to come to by the end of the novel. It's simply one I don't share.

2. See this passage from the confrontation in the Guanyin Temple:

"It wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. He didn’t want to be reminded again and again of what it felt like when his core was cut out or what price he had to pay. If this were exposed in the past, he’d most likely laugh and comfort Jiang Cheng … But now, he indeed didn’t have the strength left to put up such a confident, nonchalant pretense.

From the bottom of his heart, he knew he wasn’t so indifferent about it after all.

Was it really that easy to move on from such a thing?

Of course not." (Chapter 103, "Hatred," ExR translation)

3. I saw a different post complaining about Wei Wuxian apologizing to Jiang Cheng in reconciliation scenarios, and I just, like, he kicked off a political firestorm that ended in the death of Jiang Yanli and her husband. This is completely separate from the non-consensual surgery and all the lying he was doing about that. He owes him multiple different apologies! And Jiang Cheng should also apologize to him! That's why they apologize to each other in the Temple, because they know they hurt each other! The point of an apology in an intimate relationship is to connect with the person you are apologizing to in order to repair the relationship, and the Temple was not the time, which is why they need a private do-over! It's not humiliation, it's intimacy, connection, and repair. How do y'all live your lives.

3.5 Also, imagine it to be more in-character than that.

[pastel-peach-writes]

Caitvi x reader who's basically a dumb blonde (and very clumsy) at points but is smart in a few specific things you wouldn't expect (you choose what they are^^) they're kinda like Elle woods from legally blonde if yknow what I mean,! Thanks for doing caitvi requests they hardly exist!^^

Hi! This request is no problem and of course! I started making these caitvi posts because they barely exist and i was DYING for content. love to hear that you're enjoying them!

"How Do You Know That?" | CaitVi x Reader

╰┈➤ PLOT: Headcanons of Caitlyn and Vi with a clumsy, ditzy, yet smart in unique ways partner <3

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Cursing, Clumsy Ass Reader, A Lot Of F-Bombs(Vi), Cute Ass Reader, Sleepy Vi, Hard-Worker Caitlyn, Not Proofread, No Y/N

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

– okay, caitvi would never call you dumb. never.

– they like to think of you as, maybe a bit ditzy and a klutz. most definitely a klutz.

– you can't even make a pot of coffee without spilling the coffee ground everywhere.

– and don't get them started on how many times they found a sticky counter and had to clean it after you poured juice into a cup.

– they didn't mind your clumsiness though.

– it was cute and endearing and you were their klutz. (and the audience awhs.)

– anyways

– the only time they may get upset at your clumsiness is when you three are on stealth missions.

– for vi, it was like working with powder again.

– she had to make sure you were okay and preferred to walk behind you. however, she hated when you walked too far.

– "hey, be careful. you never know who or what's out there." "I'll literally be fine. you worry too much--" and there you go almost falling into a manhole.

– thank god for vi's fast ass reflexes.

– while it reminds vi of simpler times, (working with you on stealth missions), it reminds caitlyn of the painful days when she had to train trainees.

– most were incompetent, clumsy, and downright scaredy cats.

– no judgment to you if you're any of those things.

– it was different with you of course. but the slip-ups often reminded her of a trainee who made the same slip-up you did and suddenly she turned away trying to maintain her composure.

– anyways, your ditziness

– i personally believe everyone has their dumb blonde moments. some just have more than others.

– you have yours over the most basic things

– like almost taking a hot pan out of the oven or letting a plastic utensil sit dangerously close to an open flame.

– if caitlyn wasn't in the kitchen working, she was sure you'd burn the house down.

– another ditzy moment would be drinking a water bottle upside down, going to eat a random piece of pie because a man gave it to you, and running headfirst into a room full of mirrors.

– yeah. that shit hurt.

– adding onto your clumsiness, you'd trip and fall on your own two feet

– though your ditziness often shows in your actions and not your words, caitlyn and vi found themselves shocked on a random tuesday night at three am when you're asking them questions only a 7-year-old would think of.

-

"do you think dinosaurs poop? what color would it be?" you asked. you were in the middle of the bed with vi on your right and caitlyn on your left.

vi was resting on her side, seemingly knocked out cold. caitlyn was reading a book with her personal book lamp on. she made sure it was on dim so she wouldn't disrupt your sleep. you can imagine her startle when you spoke out of the blue.

"wh-what?" caitlyn stammered. she glanced over to you. maybe you were sleep-talking. sure, that's a weird ass phrase to say while asleep, but every sleep talker says dumb shit sometimes.

you glanced back at her, eyes wide open and dazzling with curiosity. "i mean, each dino species had a different diet and habitat. do you think based off their diets and habitats, their poop would smell different and have different colors?"

caitlyn couldn't even fathom an answer. her mind literally went blank. luckily for her, vi chipped in on the opposite side of the bed. her voice raspy and low. she was obviously asleep, but the quiet chatter woke her up. "babe, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"dinos!" you exclaimed. vi shushed you as she turned over to face you.

"why the fuck are we talking about dinos?" she squinted in your direction. even though caitlyn's light wasn't bright in the slightest, it was like the fucking sun compared to the darkness that was previously behind vi's eyes.

"and why do you know so much about their habitats and diets?" caitlyn chimed. she closed her book, but kept a hold of her light. she loved seeing how your eyes sparkled with wonder and how the corner of your lips upturned as you spoke about your random dinosaur inquiry.

"um, because it's common knowledge."

"no, the fuck it's not." "who said that?"

you blinked. all your life you knew just about everything about dinosaurs. you knew their DNA buildup, and bone structure, which dinos had more genetic tissue than the other. you were asking them a simple question and they didn't know?

sat up, your eyes shift between them. Vi is on the urge of falling back asleep and caitlyn is patiently waiting on the answer to her question. with a giggle, you shook your head. "you guys are so funny. anyways, i think the herbivores' poop is more green than the others because of their plant-based diet-"

"ugh, just go to sleep!" vi wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled down. with your back now on the mattress and giggles escaping from you once again, violet puts her head on your chest. "you talk too much. it's sleepy time and caitlyn, turn off that light for the love of god."

not phased by her sleepy crankiness because she's in love with her, caitlyn turned off the light with a slight chuckle. she's finally snuggled under the covers and joined the cuddle pile.

-

– since then, caitlyn and vi discovered you know a lot about some random shit

– (and that your interesting factoids were attractive as hell)

– the random shit includes space (most specifically black holes and speed of light), color theory, engineering but with the most unethical supplies, and murder mysteries (real and fake).

– you always surprise them with your random thoughts.

– sometimes you're trying to share knowledge and other times you're asking questions to see if they have the answer.

– no matter the question, no matter the topic, they're amazed you know all of this crap.

– this person who falls up the stairs, chokes on mouthwash, and literally wore their pants backward for a full day is asking their partners if they know about the space-time continuum.

– in vi's words, "um, what the fuck?"

– that being said, they love that big clumsy, ditzy brain of yours with random facts.

– vi call your their "fun fact calendar" because every day, you have a new fact about your selected topics.

– i've said this before and i'll say it again, they absolutely adore you and your wackiness

– it even helps when finding jinx.

– "yeah, it was easy because she used these colors, and while this means one thing in color theory, in color psychology it actually means--"

– "-- wait, wait. when did you pick up color psychology?"

– "last week! :D"

– both, in perfect unison: "you never fail to amaze me."

WC: 1,126